


the tilt of this strange nation

by jane_wanderlust



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-24
Updated: 2012-01-24
Packaged: 2017-10-30 02:11:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/326624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jane_wanderlust/pseuds/jane_wanderlust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wanting her is like a constant throbbing inside his skull.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the tilt of this strange nation

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from the song "Good Intentions Paving Company," by Joanna Newsom.

\---------------------

 

Maybe it's because she's never broken his heart. Except that sounds really lame, and he's awesome, so, no.  
   
That's not it.  
   
He decides maybe he has a thing for redheads, but she's changed her hair too many times, and he doesn't exactly shy from brunettes, blondes, what have you, so, no.  
   
Not it either.  
   
(He refuses to think that maybe he just has a thing for her. Because.  
   
That's  _definitely_  not fucking it.)  
   
Maybe it's because she knows shit about him even Ted can't claim rights to.  
   
Like what his favorite soup is when he's sick (not  _actually_  sick, just recharging his awesome), or the movie he watched on repeat after Shannon left him ( _Beauty and the Beast_ ; don't fucking judge, the Beast is a total badass).  
   
But then again, really, the tiny-lady Jedi fucking mind tricks she utilizes in figuring him out seriously kinda  _freak_  him out, because she probably knows too much.  
   
Like that time when he was late for work and he - no. Not going there.  
   
And what the actual fuck, her  _knowing_  him? That's so not it that it doesn't even deserve its own thought process. Because, if he's trying to figure this out – (which, _why_ the fuck? but okay, he's just rolling with it, because he's Barney and he's awesome, and rolling with it is what he does) he has really got to avoid all of the tear-jerky, soft-puppy,  _Ted_ moments.  
   
And with all of this knowing bullshit, he's feeling too much like a Celine Dion song.  
   
So. Thought process aborted.  
   
Maybe it's because she's got nice boobs.  
   
That's probably it.  
   
Because, it's not like he doesn't want a constant handful of tit; and she's definitely got a perky little, soft, Lily-white - okay, no. _Lily white?_  
   
Celine Dion is writing his  _life_ now.  
   
And he's sure -  _sure_  - that banishment of Canadian pop singers (in any context; creepy, inner-monologues included) is one of the rules of the Bro Code. (Robin Sparkles is totally an exception though, because, seriously, Robin's mortifying adolescence aside - or actually, probably included - that shit's comedy _gold_.)  
   
He thinks he's probably got it narrowed down to her boobs, and is about to doodle her rack on his napkin, when she walks in to MacLaren's - Marshall free - slides into the booth across from him and smiles.  
   
And fuck, he's back to square one.  
   
Because.

Maybe it's her smile? And  _fuck._ _Why is this his life!?_  
   
He orders another drink, fleetingly wonders about the hangover he's most likely going to have in the morning, and suddenly everything clicks and snaps into place, and did he mention he's  _awesome?_  
   
Because seriously.  
   
All of this shit (he won't say pining, because he's not a fucking logger...or, you know,  _Ted_ ) is puzzle-locked and clear:  
   
It's because she's his hangover. In the best possible way.  
   
She's that warm, blood-rushing pounding that explodes past his head and settles in every extension of his body. And yeah, maybe sometimes it fucking sucks, (and yeah, maybe it hurts, too) but really? It's just a reminder of fun, and of, you know, doing things he loves, with people he lo-ikes -  _likes!_  - and of being alive.  
   
This whole thing makes him feel alive.  
   
 _Lily_  makes him feel alive.  
   
(Blood thrumming under his skin, aching in his skull,  _alive_.)  
   
She laughs at something he says, toes at his shin under the table, and seriously, he is awesome.  
   
Just.

Wait for it.

 

\---------------------

**Author's Note:**

> For youcallitwinter over at LJ.


End file.
